I've felt the need to end Push Play for the whole year. When I shared my hesitations with fellow KRUA DJ's, most insisted that it not be cancelled. I kept it going, but have found myself to the point where I'm uninspired, unmotivated, and dare I say just faking it. [Last show will be 10/21, open invite to join me in the studio, just holler, out of state or international email firstname.lastname@example.org]
In simple and clichéd words that I hope many others will be able to say, KRUA changed my life. I'll forever be grateful for my time at the station, both as a volunteer and staff member. It's always been a belief of mine that you get what you give. Maybe I've become way too self-centered or needy, but I've recently questioned what has KRUA done for me? Meaning, I don't believe KRUA is giving me what I give (gave) it.
Perhaps, karma has kicked in or more appropriately, "payback is a bitch." It's still too early for me to fully analyze my faults in running the station. The Catholic in me struggles to confess and forgive. It's melodramatic, but for two years it was my life. Maybe this has been my greatest fault, not letting go. Everyone has been nice enough not to mention my failure with the exception of a few, but I suspect they think less of me. I would like to believe there were a number of factors leading to my falling out, but the fact remains that I was in charge; therefore, I'm more responsible than any other factor. This burden has sucked away my passion for KRUA and Push Play, but it has not killed my love or appreciation for radio.
I'll forever hold dear my memories and bonds that have grown from KRUA. But it's safe to say, it's my time to end my stay at KRUA. Queue outro; Nina Simone – Feeling Good.